Saturday, July 18, 2009

Job Security....Mortgage Style!

I have been asked more times than I can possibly count why I have changed jobs so many times. As a 15 year vet of the mortgage world, I have had more jobs than I could ever possibly remember. 20. 25. Not sure anymore. All I know is that I keep a resignation note on standby at all times. I have even resorted to a post-it-note on my monitor before. Anyone inside the mortgage industry totally understands this. People in the outside world can’t even comprehend a yearly, bi-yearly, or tri-yearly job shift. The reason for the constant change……..everyone in this industry is insane! So, in that spirit, here are the 5 most common (or interesting) reasons I have had to change companies over the last 15 years…..in no particular order:

1) The Employer laid me off due to “restructuring.” I can count at least 4 of these incidents. 2 of them were with the same employer. It kind of blows your mind when the person laying you off reaches out to shake your hand at the end of the conversation. Makes you want to grab their hand and yank their arm right out of it’s socket and then say “Good luck to you. I hope you know this isn’t personal.”

2) Discovering that my employer was really a mob front. Yup….just like I said. When your company doesn’t make any money, the owner doesn’t care that it’s not making any money, and he regularly closes loans using his own funds and virtually no documentation; this might be a tip off. When customers call the office asking for the owner panicking because their private mortgage is 1 hour late and begging for mercy, it’s time to go! “Hey Vito, we gotta go do that…um…thing we was talkin’ about.”

3) Horrible working conditions. Ok, let’s get real…..the mortgage universe is not a sweat shop in Bangladesh. But anyone who has worked for Kountryfried (names changed to protect the innocent) might feel some empathy for those kids in far away lands making tennis shoes. “Great pay, and potential for large bonuses” is codespeak for “7am-9pm, 6-7 days per week with a 15% chance of a $200 bonus monthly.” If it was presented like that from the start, who would actually sign up for that?

4) Violence. Chalk up 2 jobs to this one. Both were situations where the boss was a bit more volatile than should be appropriate in a workplace. Or in a prison cell. I have had an FHA 203K file thrown at me, followed by a door slam on my office so hard it broke the surrounding wall….even bent the metal studs in the wall. I have also had a boss get within 1 inch of my nose while he was yelling at me. Personal space is very important to me, and I’m sure to most of you. Natural instinct when anyone unwelcome violates the magic bubble is to beat them within an inch of their life, right? Is that just me? Good thing I have a little self-control. It’s just easier to quit.

5) Better Opportunity. Ok, really? I always tell myself when I use this one that it’s true. It never is. The proverbial carrot is always dangling on the end of the stick for all mortgage people. Let’s get this straight people……Money makes people very volatile and insane. Mortgages are money. Clients are insane, which makes loan officers and realtors insane, which makes processors and underwriters insane, which make managers and owners insane. The insanity does not filter out as it goes uphill. It grows exponentially. This is a universal flaw of the mortgage industry. People do crazy things when they themselves are crazy. They falsify documents, they scream for no reason at all, they talk to themselves in the third person….and then answer themselves also in the third person, they wear nicotine patches on their forehead while they are smoking 2 cigarettes at a time. Simply put, it does not matter if you work for Wells Fargo Corporate Office or Shady Joe’s Mortgage Barn…..your direct supervisor will always be insane. The better a job sounds during the interview, the worse it will probably be in reality.

I want to hear the most creative way any of you have ever quit a job. Anyone use a skywriting company, stadium scoreboard, tattoo, or shaving cream to get the message across? Chime in!

5 comments:

  1. So glad you're over here at blogspot instead, now I can add you to my blogroll :-)

    This is such a good start to your blog babe, I am going to totally enjoy reading this!

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  2. Matt - While I have been very fortunate in my jobs and bosses, I know many people who can tell stories like yours. I know someone right now who is working in morgages at BofA. She's frequently told to put in 10-15 hours of mandatory overtime. THAT was a new one to me, but apparently, it's very common in your world.
    My weirdest - must leave job now - was when I was 19 and working as a secretary in a water well drilling company. I was doing very well there, everyone liked me and I did good work. Then one day the boss came in, told me to pack my stuff, wrote me a check for a months pay, and drove me home. I later learned that one of the drillers was being sought by police for a domestic violence situation. Everyone had simply been trying to get me out of a very unsafe place. And from there I went to my favorite job ever at a bookstore. So it was all good.
    Welcome to blogger world! - kc

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  3. Thanks for the warm welcome! I will keep looking for my "bookstore job"....one of these days, I suspect I will find it!

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  4. Thanks alot for the great posts.But How To Fix an upsidedown mortgage?

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  5. I just realized you appeared in Jenn's sidebar, so, hi!

    I have never left a job for any reason other than going to school or because it came to its natural end (seasonal lifeguard/swim instructor, work-study jobs, and internships). The closest I came was quitting Circuit City before high school graduation rather than in August right before college started.

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